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Please What can I do?


I don't know what to do that is why I decided to find solutions. I don't want my friends to laugh at me because of this, that is why I came to where I am not known to look for help. My wife is asking for a divorce from me. She found out that the child her cousin gave birth to is my child. The girl was living with us during her youth service and, this happened last 11years and that was then my wife who is always on night duty, stays at the hospital some nights.

I just fell out with this lady one night and that was how we started seeing each other. Honestly I feel so dirty doing that and the way it's turning out now, I don't know my faith at all. Back then, She suddenly left the house, telling me and my wife that she wants to start living with her youth corper friend, we

allowed her not knowing she is pregnant.

My wife was so worried about her, because the lady is an orphan and she has know my wife's family since she was 13 years old. All my wife's siblings are her senior by far. She us a baby to them. It was even from my wife's mouth that I heard the lady was pregnant. So my wife was so angry that she brought it to my notice saying she should show her the man, but she told her she is not interested in the man, so she felt she can take care of herself. My wife told her to come and stay with her because she can't watch her go through that pregnancy hurdles alone, but she refused saying my wife shouldn't bother.i can't just explain how the thing caused quarrel between her and my wife and my wife decided to let her be. Then my marriage was 14years old. Even my mother in law called the lady to ask her whom the pregnancy belongs too, but she said the boy was hausa and she does not want to marry him in any way, not knowing she lied to everyone. I remember then my wife's mother told her where she has refused bringing the person she should not cross home till she brings the person. So she left

I am being honest here, it was when the child was a year and 3 months that she wrote me a test message saying I should start taking responsibility of my child. I was shocked at the office when I got that message, because I remember back then, I asked her who does it belong to, she said it's for her boyfriend. That text message ruined my entire week, that I sometimes look lost even when people are in the office with me. I had to call her and ask her let's see in private. She came with the boy, and I was so dazed. Telling me if I doubt out, I should take the boy for a dna test.

I don't know what to do, but I begged her not to expose me please, that let's keep this as a secret that I will pay in 20,000 every month for her, that she should please not scatter my home please. She agreed and after three years,

she asked for increase to 50,000. I have no choice but to agree honestly. Their was a time she told me she wants a new apartment, I told her I can't afford it, she said I live in my own house and that I can afford it, I told her please she should not blackmail me with that child, that she should learn to be considerate. I have 5girls and a boy from my wife. I had to confide in my mother because I wanted someone to be aware.

Even my mother said I should not tell my wife, that she will break down. Even my mother suggested we pay her off and take the baby from her so she can stay with the boy because my father is late. When I told her she refused, so my mother said I should leave her before she speaks. Last year she asked for ticket money to go spend

time abroad with the boy, things were good for me, so I gave her but what pained was that my wife was in Nigeria when she went to USA with the boy, as she said her youth corper friend stays abroad, so she accommodated her, that was what she told me.

My wife found out since March,how she found out was that, that night my friend called and told me respond to his email, that it's very urgent and I forgot that I never came home with my laptop and I borrowed my wife's own and forgot to log out. The network was very disturbing and it kept delaying to send and I had to leave it and go and sleep. My wife woke up before me, because she always use her laptop, her patients or students send her messages in her email,she lectures at the

University too, and I don't know how she was pushed to start opening my emails and she saw the emails her cousin send to me and a whole lots, pictures of the boy and her.

It seems am writing too much sentence, but I want to explain myself. My wife woke me up with questions. I was speechless, I don't even know where to start answering. Since March 17th this year I have been living like a ghost, I thought it's something I can settle, but last two weeks my wife's lawyer served me divorce papers. My wife does not want to listen to anybody. Please is their hope for me at all? Have I lost it all? Is their remedy? I am a

shadow of myself, my mother cannot even help me. My wife's mother supports her, the woman is a strong person. What can I do, I can't live without my family please? My marriage is 25years old. My wife is 50 years old, I am 58 years. We are trying to hide this from the children.
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